While I was having a little New Year’s coffee at Royal yesterday, my conversation got on the topic of complete wastes of times New Year’s Resolution’s.  It’s no secret that most people’s New Year’s Resolutions involve some sort of admirable health and fitness goals, and for many cyclists that may be to increase their flexibility through yoga. 

Lemme tell you, I don’t know a whole lot about yoga.

Sure, there’s downward dog, chaturanga, plank.  Throw in a little warrior stuff, follow my my tips below, and voila!  That’s how you get through yoga class.

Martina’s Tips to Surviving Yoga Class:

1.  Well yoga class always starts with a little meditation piece.  This bores me – alot.  You are supposed to close your eyes, but I don’t.  Open your eyes if you feel like it, look around.  Guess what, if everyone else has their eyes closed, no one will know if you don’t.

2.  Always be the last person to get into the pose, especially the hard ones.  If the pose is easy like childs’ pose or something, you should be the first person into the pose.  This helps to maximize your rest time and minimize the time actually spent in the difficult poses.

3. Always be the first person out of the pose.  Ok, it’s not cool to fall out of the pose.  But as soon as you can tell the class is moving on, then get on it, yo.

4. Remember to focus your eyes on something.  Sure, you can follow all my tricks, but life is going to be alot easier if remember to focus your gaze on something in front of you or ont he ceiling if you are looking up.  This helps you keep your balance while you are in a pose.

5. Finally, when the instructor says “Hold this for 5 breaths” that’s your que to breath as loud as possible.  I’ve learned this one from experience.  See, a pose might be really hard for you and easy for your instructor and they may just want to hold that pose all day.  You’ve got to remind them that you’ve committed for 5 breaths, and you don’t have time for 6 or 10.  And the only way to do that is to breath at the absolute top of your volume, ok.  It also makes them think you are working hard. 

I’d also like to tell you that I’ve had the most pathetic new years experience of any other adult in the United States.  My festivities consisted of spending the evening (alone)debating whether to drink a bottle of champaign or a bottle of Nyquil. 

And no, I don’t have a cold.